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Money Can't Buy You Love - or These Valuable Things
Money Can't Buy Love
"I don't care too much for money,
for money can't buy me love."
-The Beatles
It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is only a few days away. It seemed a distant target when I wrote my last post about being thankful beyond Thanksgiving Day. Here it is if you didn't catch it before Thankful Beyond Thanksgiving.
Giving Thanksgiving Day its due is challenging since television, radio, and other media began overpowering our senses with Christmas ads before the Halloween bowls of candy were emptied. Again, we are inundated with commercials, pictures, and words describing things we suddenly can't live without, which were unknown to us just moments before.
As the battle for my wallet began playing out, I began to think of the things I value in life that can't be bought. I almost immediately thought of the Beatle's song referenced above. I couldn't find fault with that premise because I have personal experience in that department.
Barb and I have loved one another for over forty years. We've been blessed to travel and enjoy things I wouldn't have thought possible when we first got together. Our beginnings were indeed humble.
When we met, I drove an old AMC Pacer. A car that appeared to have more windows than a frame that my best friend Joe claimed was a boat anchor, because that's all it was good for. On top of that, the floorboards were so thin that if you lifted the cardboard, I swear you could see the lines on the road passing beneath us.
In those days, my bank account could barely stretch to allow even the driving of a boat anchor. I can assure you that Barb could not have loved me for my money. Recently, we were reminiscing about our first credit card together, a Citgo gas card with a whopping $300 limit. Through thick and thin, abundance and lack, I've come to value our love, knowing that no amount of money would have been sufficient to buy it.
Money can buy many things. food, clothing, houses, cars, trips, electronics, and many creature comforts. It can buy you companionship, but money can't buy love.
This video featuring Blackstreet slows down that well-known Beatles classic. It touches me because it depicts a couple farther along in their love journey just like mine and Barb's.
I am blessed beyond anything I could ever deserve with the love Barb and I share. It is priceless and no amount of money could have made it mine.
Then I began thinking about all the other things of value, ranging from important to priceless, that we are unable to purchase no matter our wealth.
I am sure this list is anything but complete. I use it as a starting point to get us all to think about what's truly important, can't be bought, and should push us to be ever grateful for.
"When one lives attached to money, pride or power, it is impossible to be truly happy."
-Pope Francis
Money Can't Buy You Love - or These Valuable Things
1. Character
Humility, kindness, empathy, and compassion are building blocks of a person with good character. These traits just can't be bought no matter how much you have to spend.
As a matter of record, money often brings out the worst in people, they will often walk over people to gain more of it. Because they have money, they think they can do anything without repercussions.
"The key to life is to be happy with or without money. Money only magnifies who you really are."
-Robert Kiyosaki
2. Self-Esteem
Money can buy you accolades and compliments, but not self-esteem. Self-esteem has nothing to do with those validations or the amount of things you own. It is derived from your inner sense of ability and worth.
Read: 10 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem
3. Trust
Trust must be built over time and involves consistency in actions, doing what you say, and honesty. You just can't write a check for trustworthiness - you have to earn it.
4. Respect
Much like trust, respect must be earned. You cannot purchase respect because it can only be gained through demonstrations of good actions, behaviors, strong values, and humility. Respect is a priceless commodity because money can't buy other people's perceptions.
5. Class
Class is no respecter of your net worth. I have met rich and poor people who lacked real class. Class is based on the way you treat yourself and others daily. Money can buy some cool things, but class is not one of them.
6. Happiness
The trouble with tying your happiness to things is that the emotional high is fleeting. It soon becomes necessary to buy more and more "stuff" to maintain that euphoria. Happy people are content with what they have, not what they don't have.
Read: 18 Ways to Be Happier
"It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness."
-Charles Spurgeon
7. Health
Money can buy medicine and medical attention, but it can't buy health. If you have good health, be very thankful.
8. Integrity
Integrity is displayed by remaining true to yourself, truthfulness with others, maintaining a strong moral compass, and cannot be purchased at any price. Integrity is one of the principles that make you who you are.
"If you don't have integrity, you have nothing. You can't buy it. You can have all the money in the world, but if you are not a moral and ethical person, you really have nothing."
-Henry Kravis
9. Purpose
The search for meaning and purpose in your life takes deep self-evaluation, reflection, commitment, and plenty of soul searching. No amount of wealth can purchase a shortcut for finding your life's purpose.
Read: 4 Tips for Finding Your Purpose in Life
10. Inner Beauty
As with showing class discussed earlier, inner beauty is anchored by the way you see and treat yourself and others. It is attractiveness based on your personality, compassion, kindness, and deep respect for others, qualities that cannot be acquired financially.
11. Loyalty
Genuine loyalty, like respect, must be earned over time through consistent and mutual trust, not by monetary influence. When you gain loyalty from others, it is based on your character and actions, not your checking account balance.
You can purchase someone's performance or service, but not their loyalty.
12. Morals
Your morals, shaped by your personal beliefs, faith, parental influences, and life experiences define who you are as an individual.
Money may sway some opinions, provide material comforts, and even provide some temptations, but it cannot erase feelings of guilt or regret once you've acted against your core convictions.
Strong morals define who you are. and is priceless because it reflects your personal belief system.
13. Time
24 hours in a day. That's it for all of us no matter our wealth or position in life. Once time has passed, it is gone. No repeats. No extensions.
Treasure every moment you have. Money can't buy you one more second, making it a tragedy to waste what you have.
Fill what time you have creating wonderful memories and relationships, not regrets.
"Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time."
-Jim Rohn
14. Common Sense
Money can buy you an education, but I have encountered many people who were well-educated but needed more common sense.
Common sense depends on your adaptability, reasoning, application of previous life lessons, and sense of logic, and can't be purchased.
15. Manners
The Golden Rule. Treating others as you would like to be treated. It shows in politeness and courtesy that are genuinely extended to others. No amount of money can purchase the admiration and reputation that accompanies good manners.
The goodwill and high regard you gain by consistent good manners are earned with every personal interaction and speak volumes about your character, not your wealth.
"Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go."
-Margaret Walker
16. Patience
Patience is indeed a virtue. It is a virtue that comes from experience and practice. Patience stems from the ability to adapt to a variety of circumstances, to trust in different processes, and not stress over things you cannot control.
Money may buy you help and technology to simplify your life, but it cannot inject patience.
17. Wisdom
You can buy books, get an education, and memorize statistics, but real wisdom comes from mistake-induced lessons, life experiences, and personal growth that you apply to your life. It is a priceless life-learned lesson that can't be bought.
"The best things in life aren't things."
-Art Buchwald
18. Friendship
True friends are one of the things that money can't buy. You may be able to surround yourself with lots of people looking to gain from your prosperity, but you may never know who your real friends are.
True friends share your values, give mutual respect, and always have your back, but will be the first to call you out when you're wrong. You can't put a price on that.
Read: 10 Ways to Become the Best, Best Friend
19. A Loving Family
Money can buy some wonderful things for your family, a house, cars, clothes, and other items, but you can't buy their love. Strong family bonds and a family that loves each other require the use of another priceless commodity mentioned earlier, time.
Giving of yourself, your time, your trust, your love, your understanding, your support, and sharing cherished memories simply can't be bought.
Read: 10 Ways to Make Your Children Feel Loved
You may also like:
4 Ways to Keep Your Family Together
and
20. Forgiveness
Money may provide forms of restitution, providing payment for damage done to property and possessions, but it can never buy forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the intentional and willful decision to let go of the hurt or anger someone has caused you by something they did or said. It's a personal decision that can't be coerced by material influences.
Explore this topic here: 8 Steps of Real Forgiveness
21. Gratitude
Money spent on gifts and trips may result in a proper thank you, but it won't buy you gratitude. Gratitude is an attitude of appreciation and fulfillment for what we have, not what we want.
Being grateful is a spiritual mindset that acknowledges the source of our blessings. A fortune can be spent on things, but it can't make us grateful for them. And without the proper attitude of gratitude, the possessions purchased will not satisfy us long term but only leave us wanting more.
Read: 80 Things to be Grateful For
22. Confidence
Money often magnifies the personality and character traits that we owned already. If we lacked self-confidence, strong morals, or empathy before we obtained wealth, it would only be magnified with the addition of wealth.
23. A Home
Money can buy you the biggest house on the block, but it can't buy a home. Creature comforts can fill the spaces, but it's the efforts spent on filling it with warmth, love, fond memories, acceptance, and a sense of belonging that make it a home.
24. A Connection with Your Children
Many try and fail to buy their way into their children's hearts. The cycle becomes self-defeating because the more you buy the more that's wanted.
There is nothing wrong with providing your children with a comfortable life, but meaningful parent/child relationships are the result of emotional investment and time spent with each other.
It's always about the love you share, and the moments created that matter in the long run.
25. Serenity
Serenity comes from spiritual wealth, not material wealth. Serenity is that peace of mind that comes from being true to yourself, living according to your faith and values, cultivating positive relationships, and knowing you are loved.
Creating wealth often comes at the expense of things that really matter and contribute to serenity, like health, relationships, shared experiences, and personal growth.
Serenity is not a product or service that you can charge to your credit card, and you can't pay someone else to give you peace of mind.
26. A strong work ethic
When it comes to a strong work ethic, some people possess it and some people do not. Money can buy you additional help, equipment, and shortcuts, but it can't purchase the personal resolve, self-discipline, and resilience to truly succeed.
Your internal drive, mental focus, and commitment to see things through are priceless assets that no amount of money can buy.
27. Creativity
Dollars can be spent on computers, programs, and apps that can help bring a thought into existence, but a fresh idea is sparked internally, and that process cannot be forced by wealth.
When inspiration knocks at your door, open up and value the moment because it is priceless.
28. Intimacy
Money can buy you companionship. It can even buy you sex. But money can't buy you intimacy. Intimacy is a connection born of familiarity and closeness that needs time and vulnerability to develop.
Although often used interchangeably with sex, true intimacy goes beyond the physical touch, which draws you closer than sexual acts alone and allows the bond between two people to remain intact and grow stronger even when the physical has been eliminated.
29. Mindfulness
Money can be used to buy vacations and noteworthy experiences, but you won't be able to purchase the mindfulness that's required to seize the moment and fully enjoy the present.
In fact, money, and the pursuit of more, often interfere with mindfulness because your attention is pulled away from the experience by the call of work and the protection of the money owned.
30. Faith
Faith is complete trust or confidence in something or someone. It requires a level of vulnerability and humility to believe that something or someone is responsible for an outcome other than us.
Faith requires that we let go of some control, and the more money involved the more difficult it is to do.
That's why Jesus told his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
He didn't say they couldn't, He just said it would be hard because they would have to overcome pride, greed, and selfishness and replace those with faith.
Bonus
Some Bible verses on the topic of money:
"For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God." -1 Peter 1:18,19 NLT
"Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife." -Proverbs 19:14 NLT
"For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows." -1 Timothy 6:10 NLT (note: it is the LOVE of money that creates the problems)
"Wisdom and money can get you almost anything, but only wisdom can save your life." -Ecclesiastes 7:12 NLT
"And He said unto them, Take heed, and beware covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth." -Luke 12:15 KJV
Final Thoughts on What Money Can't Buy
The quality of your relationships along with the pureness of your heart, not the size of your bank account, is the truest measure of the riches you possess.
Money is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used in a good way or a bad way. Money can be used to purchase comfort, shelter, food, and transportation, and provide many opportunities for you. It can be used to make the world a better place through giving.
But the pursuit of money at all costs is shortsighted and can result in the loss of more important things.
Place money in the proper order of importance in relation to the things I listed above. If you possess those things, you are destined to live a very rich life indeed.
Count your blessings instead of money.
Now go live your best life,
Dan
"A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, Favor is better than silver or gold."
-Proverbs 22:1
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