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10 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem
When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?
How you view yourself is more important than any other opinion you may value.
I am not talking about your level of confidence. I discussed self-confidence and ways to boost it in an earlier post.
Read: 4 Ways to Give Your Self-Confidence a Boost
Self-confidence is the level of belief you have in your abilities to perform in a specific circumstance. It is attached to your capabilities about a particular challenge or undertaking.
Self-esteem is related to how you feel about yourself overall. It is a measure of your perceived overall worth. What is the value you place on yourself as a person and how does that impact your interaction with others?
Low self-esteem can keep you from living your best life. It can also hinder you from maintaining relationships or socializing.
Today I will focus on self-esteem, its importance, and ways to build your self-esteem. How you feel about yourself, face-to-face with the mirror will go a long way in determining your overall happiness and success in life.
Benefits of Good Self-Esteem
Having a realistic, thankful opinion of yourself is vital for effectively handling daily life. Some of the benefits of a healthy self-esteem are:
- Improved mental health
- Ability to handle adversity
- Better coping skills
- Overall health
- Superior personal relationships
- Capacity to put negative events into proper perspective
Beyond that, the way you see yourself goes a long way toward how others see you. It starts new relationships on firmer ground and helps maintain stronger existing connections.
Reasons for Low Self-Esteem
Everyone encounters a level of low self-esteem sometime in their life. Perpetually low opinions of yourself are not healthy and will impact your ability to excel and live your best life.
How do some end up with low self-esteem, to begin with? Although there are numerous factors that chip at our opinion of ourselves, here are some common sources:
- Environment: If you grew up in a home where you were constantly belittled, made fun of, or criticized, it could lead to low self-esteem. (I was fortunate to grow up in a loving and nurturing home). If you are in a current relationship where your significant other does not believe in you or support you, it can lead to a sense of lost worth and diminished self-esteem
- Bad Breaks: If you encounter a job loss, a bad breakup, a missed opportunity, or a noteworthy loss, that can contribute to low self-esteem.
- Social Media: Spending excessive amounts of time tracking the lifestyles of the rich and famous, comparing your life to theirs, can certainly lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
- Mental Health Issues: Stress, anxiety, depression, and other common mental health issues may bestow low self-esteem. That's why you see me advocate in many of my posts for professional help when warranted.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
How do you know if you are suffering from low self-esteem, or just enduring a momentary lack of confidence? For example, you can have a high opinion of yourself, yet no confidence in flying a plane.
Although possible to put on a front and hide many of the characteristics of low self-esteem, here are some common signs that would signal a need to address your low self-worth:
- Poor body image. Hating your body beyond the desire to exercise, tone, etc.
- Feeling worthless. Thinking you have nothing to contribute to work, home, or relationships.
- Hating yourself. Consistently feeling mad or frustrated about who you are as a person.
- Relentless anger. People with healthy self-worth seldom stay angry. They rebound quicker.
- Inability to say no. Chronic people-pleasing is a red flag for low self-esteem. It is important to be helpful, but you shouldn't always be in second place.
- Perfectionism. Not allowing yourself to make mistakes is a sign of low self-esteem
- Anxiety and fear. Especially in the context of not being good enough.
- Thin skin. If you are overly sensitive, you may have low self-esteem. People with adequate self-worth don't care what others think.
It's common for those with low self-esteem to see themselves as failures and unable to live up to expectations. This can lead to feelings of sadness, inadequacy, or anger.
Great news. Like many parts of our lives, there are steps we can take to improve, and eventually maintain positive self-esteem. Practice these ways to elevate your opinion of yourself.
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."
-Marilyn Monroe
10 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem
1. Practice Self-Evaluation
*List your strengths and weaknesses. We all have them. Self-awareness provides the right foundation for solid self-esteem.
*Feed off your strengths. Be proud of the things you're good at. Are you a hard worker? Are you a good listener? Do you cook fantastic lasagna? Whatever your strengths are, list them all.
*Refer to that awesome list the next time you are feeling gloomy or doubt your worth.
2. Practice Self-Care
*Show yourself some love. It is so difficult to build self-esteem if you don't prioritize taking care of yourself.
*Get enough exercise, sleep, and proper nutrition to have the energy to enjoy the things that make you happy.
3. Practice Positive Thinking
*Fill your mind with constructive and reassuring thoughts. Write down favorable affirmations and place them where you can read them daily.
Read: 40 Positive Affirmations
*When you find yourself entertaining negative thoughts like all of us do, challenge them directly. Are they factual, or is there another more accurate viewpoint? Replace negative thoughts immediately with positive thoughts. The negative cannot co-exist with the positive.
*Read Bible verses for encouragement. Memorize positive quotes. Listen to uplifting podcasts or music. Here's an example of each:
*Surround yourself with positive people. You are the company you keep. Hanging around negative and complaining people does nothing but erode your self-esteem.
4. Practice Goal setting
*Set realistic and obtainable goals. As you accomplish each one, you will realize a sense of pride and attainment.
*Setting goals gives you purpose. People with purpose create value for themselves and for others.
*Keep lists. Knocking out items on your to-do list will give you that same pride of accomplishment. Tackling something you've been procrastinating about will give you an even bigger boost!
5. Practice Celebrating
*When you complete a task, no matter the size, take time to celebrate. Giving yourself a pat on the back will give your self-esteem a quick boost.
*Genuinely celebrate the successes of others. Like most acts of generosity, giving a high five to someone else boosts your morale too.
6. Practice Pride
*Take time to look like someone who values themselves. We all have different physical attributes. Be the best version of yourself. Take a shower, work that comb and razor, and put on a fresh outfit. You'll be surprised at how uplifting some freshening up can be.
*Take pride in your environment. Clean out your closet. Organize your kitchen. Make your bed. File those loose papers. Those gestures all can enhance your self-esteem
7. Practice Gratitude
*One of the easiest practices you can undertake to boost your self-esteem is to be grateful for what you have already. Taking time each day to reflect on the things you are thankful for will shift your attention from negative thoughts to positive thoughts.
*Remember the old phrase, "I was mad that I didn't have shoes until I met a man with no feet." Being mindful of what you enjoy presently will help avoid obsessing about the past or worrying about the future.
8. Practice Kindness
*There is nothing quite as satisfying as performing a random act of kindness. Doing something unexpected for someone else takes you out of your own mind space, putting the focus on someone else and not your personal issues.
Read: Being Kind to Others
*Volunteer. A beautiful sense of purpose and achievement comes from helping others. Giving of yourself is a great boost to your self-esteem.
9. Practice Growth
*Learn something new. Developing a new skill or undertaking a new hobby you enjoy can make you feel more capable and self-assured.
*Use a journal. Enter the negative thoughts that have entered your mind, as well as the positive thoughts or images you're using to replace them. Tracking your progress in defeating negative self-talk will allow you to celebrate your growth. Plus, you'll be able to refer to your writings for future inspiration.
*Read. Most of what I've learned in life did not come from high school or college. It came from reading. I read the Bible every day and complete other books on average once every week. Not all readers are successful, but all successful people are readers. If you want to practice growth, I challenge you to invest in yourself by reading.
10. Practice Acceptance
*You are you, and you are enough. You've heard me state before that you are not a mistake. You are beautiful and worthy. You just haven't figured that out yet.
*Don't get trapped in the compare-and-despair game. People put on a facade. Their lives are not as perfect and carefree as displayed on social media or in person. Everyone has something they're dealing with.
*Albert Einstein once said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." Cherish your strengths and the confidence they give you, and let your uniqueness carry you through those periods of self-doubt that arrive on occasion.
"For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith."
-1 John 5:4
"Trust yourself--you know more than you think you do."
-Benjamin Spock
Practicing these tips will send you well on your way to improved self-esteem. Remember, improving your self-worth may take time, depending on where your current view of yourself rests, but the effort will be worth it when completed.
"Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth."
-Iyanla Vanzant
Final Thoughts on Building Self-Esteem
One of my favorite motivational speakers, Jim Rohn, would often say, "You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight." The first step in making any change is deciding to change. Make the decision to change your view of yourself today and set your personal compass in a new direction.
You are a gift to the universe. You are applauded for wanting to improve, grow, and become the best you can be. That should never devalue the version of you that exists today.
We all have a version of ourselves we created in our heads. It's full of beliefs and self-perceptions upon which our basic self-image is grounded. You can change that narrative and author the story that you desire.
Lastly, you are not your upbringing or circumstances. Learn to tell the difference between your environment, conditions, and who you are inside. You can then proceed with unlimited personal growth because you are no longer afraid of failure. You know that any setbacks do not change your value when you are true to yourself.
You were born with infinite potential and equal worth to anyone else on the planet. Thinking anything less is a false belief that you have learned by mistake. If you can learn it, it can be unlearned.
Begin to practice the things outlined above and rewrite your story.
Now go live your best life,
Dan
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