Why Do My Prayers Go Unanswered?

Why doesn't prayer work?

Is God real?

Is God listening?

Does God hear me?

Does God care?

Have you ever asked these questions? Do you ever think that God is ignoring you when you reach out to Him? Have you given up on prayer because you don't see the point or feel too many prayers have gone up in smoke?

"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." 

-Luke 11:9 NLT

You knock and knock but concluded that there must be a "do not disturb" sign on the door that you failed to notice. Others have prayed for God to reach down and solve a problem that they are challenged with but feel that God's only response is silence. What does that all mean?

And often the conclusion is reached that prayer doesn't work.

In an earlier post, I discussed some steps to help improve your prayer life. Out of 40 or so different posts and topics, it remains the most popular theme to date.

Read: 6 Ways to a Better Prayer Life

Several of you reached out after reading that article and asked why your prayers seem to go unanswered or unheard. You can always follow up on any post or suggest a new topic at info@dansbeenthinking.com. You may have come to the point of frustration and disappointment that God appears to not answer your pleas. Don't give up.

The solution is not to disengage your prayer life. Prayers are never a waste of time. Prayer is life-changing and can affect many areas of your journey even if something you pray about remains unchanged. 

Prayer works.

God hears every prayer

It is easy to get discouraged when you feel like your prayers are being unanswered. When my wife and son were both in the hospital at the same time last year with Covid-19, I can assure you that the prayers of myself and other prayer warriors in my circle were being dispatched non-stop.

On October 11, 2022, my son died before I ever got to see him again (more here: Covid-19 Took My Son). My wife was on a ventilator in ICU, where they had to revive her twice, and I was kept from seeing her because of the restrictions in place. So, I can relate to any of you that have prayed diligently over something important, then having the outcome be different than what you asked God for.

I couldn't be made to believe that my prayers were unheard or ignored, regardless of the many tears I cried during October. I trusted that all of the Bible was true, or I'd have to conclude that none of it was.

"In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears." 

-Psalm 18:6

"You can be sure of this: The Lord set apart the godly for himself. The Lord will answer when I call to Him." 

-Psalm 4:3

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on Him in truth." 

-Psalm 145:18

God hears our prayers. Then why does it seem like prayers go unanswered? You pray and pray and pray, and still, nothing happens. A big fat nothing. Maybe, you think inside, God doesn't want to hear from you and that's why your prayers weren't answered.

So, what should you do next? When you can't help but feel God has swiped the "decline" button on your call, I don't want you to lose your faith. God is still faithful. He is still in charge.

God answers every prayer

God is omniscient. He is everywhere. He knows all and sees all. And being God, He cannot lie, so when he says, "Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free." (Psalm 118:5), then I'm assured my prayers are answered.

God answers prayer in one of three ways

1. Yes

2. No

3. Not Yet

We must remember that God wants only the best for us. It is also vital to know that He loves us equally. He doesn't love you or me one iota less than anyone else, regardless of position or stature.

I will look at the reasons our prayers appear to go unanswered, or outcome delayed so we can move forward with renewed faith and confidence.

Why Do My Prayers Go Unanswered?

Here are some things that hinder your prayer life, and verses to back it up.

1. Sin

• Especially unconfessed sin or rebellion. 
• "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened." -Psalm 66:18
• "But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear." -Isaiah 59:2
• "The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do it right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil." -1 Peter 3:12
• We can solve that by confessing our sins and repenting before any requests
• "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." -1 John 1:9

2. God's Will

• God will not answer prayers outside the parameters of His divine will
• "And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, he heareth us." -1 John 5:14
• "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven." -Matthew 6:10
• "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." -Matthew 6:33
• We can solve that by reading His word and earnestly seeking His will for our lives
• "Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day." -Psalm 25:4-5

"I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered." 

-Jean Ingelow

3. Faith

• Setting doubt aside is crucial if you expect God to answer your prayers because God operates by faith
• "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." -Matthew 21:22
• "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." -James 1:6
• "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24
• We can solve this by building our faith through Bible reading and by asking for help in this area
• "But without faith it is impossible to please Him; for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." -Hebrews 11:6

Read: A Matter of Faith

4. Motive

• Prayers based on greed or meant to hurt others will not be answered. Neither will prayers given in front of others just to be heard or show our "holiness"
• "Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts." -James 4:3
• "But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." -Matthew 6:6
• "And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed." -Mark 1:35
• "All a person's ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord." -Proverbs 16:2
• We can solve this by checking our pride and making sure our heart is in the right place
• "But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." -Matthew 5:44
• "If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." -2 Chronicles 7:14

5. Timing

• God's timetable is not the same as ours. He is a loving Father and not only knows what's best for us but also when that best should be given
• "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways..." -Isaiah 55:8
• "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:" -Ecclesiastes 3:1
• "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie; though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." -Habakkuk 2:3
• We can solve this by not losing faith and giving up on our prayers
• "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." -Colossians 4:2

6. Others

• This hindrance can occur when a person you pray for opposes the very thing you wish for (free will on their part), or you need to forgive someone
• "And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." -Mark 11:25
• "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." -Matthew 6:14
• You can't treat your spouse poorly and expect prayers to be answered
• "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." 1 Peter 1:3-7
• We can solve this by not holding grudges and working on our ability to forgive others
• "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." -Colossians 4:13

Yes, no, or not yet. Don't stop talking to God because He hasn't stopped listening. 

"Pray without ceasing..." 

-1 Thessalonians 5:17

Final Thoughts on Unanswered Prayer

I have offered you some reasons why your prayers appear to go unanswered. This is not a checklist of right and wrong things that we can correct and suddenly all our desires will come true. We will still be required to trust in God's wisdom and timing.

I did not list the reasons above to place guilt on anyone. I do not infer that I lost Greg to Covid-19 because I lacked faith, or that you or a loved one weren't healed of some sickness because of some deep-rooted sin in your life. I won't make assumptions about why some get a yes, some get a no, and some get a not yet. God's ways are not our ways. I do look forward to getting some answers when we are face to face.

God gets blamed for a lot of dreadful things in the world, especially when prayers don't get answered the way we think they should. Don't fall into that trap. God is love. He doesn't cause sin, tragedy, or sad things to happen.

I have some wildly answered prayers and I have some prayers that didn't produce the results I thought I needed. My faith in God is not tied to what He does for me but to who He is to me.

Barb came home to me after almost four months in the hospital and rehabilitation. I was thankful for the time God gave me with Greg, and I am thankful for the time He is giving me with Barb.

We may not understand today or tomorrow, but eventually, God will reveal why we went through everything that we did.

Don't get discouraged when you feel your prayers are not being answered. Use the list above as a process to remove anything that may hinder your prayers from being answered by God. 

Know your heart. If you get a green light on the items discussed above, then lean into your faith and put your trust in God's timing.

Keep praying.

Keep believing.

God hears you.

Your next YES is just a prayer away.

Now go live your best life,

Dan

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all He has done." 

-Philippians 4:6 NLT