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Strategies For Better Self-Care
Self-Care is not selfish
I believe in a life of service. I believe there is a true reward in helping others. I believe we are happiest when we make others happy. I believe God wants us to be of service and look out for others.
Jesus replied, "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, and soul, and all your mind.'*This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
-Matthew 22:37-39 NLT
Notice He says love your neighbor as YOURSELF.
This does not infer ego or narcissism. When you give and give without recharging something must change. You can't drink from an empty cup. You can't use your phone if the battery is dead. You can't drive your car if it's out of gas.
And you can't love others and serve others unless you fully accept and love who you are. And to love yourself, you must take care of yourself.
The fear of appearing selfish keeps many from stepping back and making their own well-being a priority. Self-care is not a selfish act. In fact, it is just the opposite. When we don't practice proper self-care then we invite resentment, fatigue, and diminished capacity to do our absolute best for those we wish to help.
What is Self-Care?
For the purpose of this post, self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting your own well-being and happiness to better contribute to your family, community, and others.
Self-Care should be a priority
You mustn't look at self-care as something you'll try when you "get some extra time". You must make self-care a predominant item on your to-do list. Creating and sticking to a solid self-care routine produces many benefits. These include but are not limited to:
- Improved production at work
- Deeper personal relationships
- Improved stress and anxiety levels
- Increased stamina
- Longer life expectancy
- Reduced depression
- Stronger mental health
- Better physical condition
- Greater confidence and self-esteem
When you start taking care of yourself you start feeling better, you start looking better, you start thinking more clearly, and you start attracting better things to your life. It all starts with you. The improved you will become someone others will want to get help from.
"The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."
-Jane Travis
A self-care routine should encompass multiple areas of your life to be effective.
- Your physical well-being
- Your mental well-being
- Your spiritual well-being
Some work hard on their physical health but ignore the mind. Some feed the spirit and lose track of their mental condition. Others ignore all three while they concentrate on others to the point of exhaustion.
"...If you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself."
-Dalai Lama
The flight attendant always tells us that in an emergency, "Should the air masks deploy, put yours on first, then put the mask on your child or others in your care". You want to be of sound mind and body on that plane and you want to be in the best possible state to assist others in your day to day.
I've put together some ways you can look out for yourself so that you can best serve those around you.
Strategies For Better Self-Care
1. Physical Self-Care
- Get enough sleep. Failure to get enough sleep is the first step to weakened emotional and physical well-being. Many major health issues can stem simply from lack of sleep.
- Eat right. Feed your body like the high-octane machine that it is. Fill your tank with good nutrition, and if you choose to treat yourself, indulge but don't gorge.
- Move it. Get out of the chair and off the couch and do something. Small things add up. Take a walk, ride a bike, do some yoga. You'll feel better about yourself and your body will thank you.
- Hit pause. Take a nap, enjoy a nice long shower, or have a relaxing bath. Sit on the porch and feel the sun on your face or the breeze over your skin. Snuggle and cuddle with your significant other.
"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."
-Jim Rohn
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
-1 Corinthians 6:19-20
2. Mental Self-Care
- Respect yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a loved one. Speak positive things into your life. To love who you are, you cannot hate the things that make you the person you are and the experiences that brought you to today.
- Read a good book. Escape to another time and place and momentarily leave your trouble behind. Read books that help you become a better version of yourself. That's why I only recommend books to you that I believe will lead to a better life.
- Take a social media break. There's a lot of negative out there. I challenge you to unplug from it each day for some time. Start for an hour and go from there. You'll survive. I promise.
- Listen to music. Find a playlist that calms and inspires you
- Set boundaries. It's okay to say no. If you don't choose boundaries and priorities yourself, your body will force you to say no when it shuts down.
- Meditate. Practice mindfulness. That just means being fully in the present, ignoring the past and future to focus on now. Just a few minutes of quiet reflection each day provides a full day of energy.
- Connect. Spend time with family, friends, and positive people in your life. Their support and encouragement can help you through the toughest of times.
- Toss out time. Doing something you enjoy makes you lose track of time and forget to check your phone. You time, then time for others.
- Love yourself. Take a moment and jot down your strengths and accomplishments. You are special.
- Be grateful. Focusing on what you have and not what you don't have is the best way to help you feel more positive and optimistic.
3. Spiritual Self-Care
- Pray. When you pray, you are not trying to bend God's will to yours, but your will to His. That takes the pressure off your spirit and gives God the chance to recharge you like you recharge your phone.
- Embrace your uniqueness. God doesn't make junk. You are exactly who you are supposed to be. Allow your spirit to feel the love that God has for you as an individual. "I have written your name on my hand." -Isaiah 49:16. Embracing God's gift that is you will help you engage life with purpose.
- Feed your faith. Read Bible verses that encourage and strengthen your faith. Being able to recall these verses and messages will help you deal with a position of boldness when conflict arrives.
- Start Fresh. Yesterday is done. Shed any mistakes and regrets they present. The Bible says "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." -Lamentations 3:22-23. Grab hold of that mercy and begin a brand new day.
- Trust. God wants what's best for you. Learn that you can't solve all the world's problems and are not meant to. "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you." -1 Peter 5:7.
Additional thoughts on self-care
The strategies I provided on self-care are ones I personally follow and are not all-inclusive. Self-care regimens can be highly personal and you need to create a routine that works for you. My aim is to stimulate you to begin by giving some examples that remove the mystique and demonstrate how simple some steps can be.
You may already do some of these things or none of them at all. You certainly don't need to do them all or just them alone. Choose what you're comfortable with. The vital step is to get started.
The key is to schedule the time for yourself just like you do for anything important. Make it a priority because you are a priority. Start small because even 15 - 30 minutes a day of self-care can make a big impact on you and the people who count on you.
You have the unique ability to change. Accept yourself today. You may not be where you want to be, but with effort, you can be headed there.
Please take time to do something nice for yourself today. Find a moment that's yours, sit in silence, be grateful, and breathe in the beauty around you.
You deserve it.
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