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60 Funny Quotes To Brighten Your Day
Laughter and Joy
One of the earliest and sweetest sounds a baby makes is the sound of laughter. I'd rank it right up there with "mama" and "dada". It's easy to be envious of that little soul that doesn't have a care in the world and finds itself in unfettered joy. When that moment of joy and bliss is expressed in laughter you get the feeling, if only for a moment, that all is right in the world.
As you get older, it becomes easy for the day-to-day grind and mounting responsibilities to rob you of those special moments of happiness and joy. Sometimes it's hard to remember the last time you had a good life.
But laughter is more than just funny business. Multiple sources list several benefits that having a good laugh can deliver. Here are just a few:
- Improved ability to endure pain by producing natural painkillers
- Better self-esteem because it helps you handle demanding situations and improves your personal connections with others
- Toned tummy because of how your stomach muscles contract during laughter
- Stress prevention as the levels of stress hormones is decreased and the level of endorphins in your system is raised.
- Heart health benefits delivered by stimulating blood flow and lowering blood pressure
- Sweet dreams as your mood becomes positive and your muscles relax
There are more benefits, but you get the point. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. Make it a point to find joy and laughter in your life. Watch comedy movies, read comics, hang out with people that make you laugh, and as important as any of these, learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously.
Reading funny quotes can get those laugh muscles back in shape and turn your frown upside down. I have made a list of some of my favorites to get you started and brighten your day. Let's share some giggles together and please share this blog with anyone that you know that could use a pick-me-up.
60 Funny Quotes To Brighten Your Day
1. "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
-Mae West
2. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
-W.C. Fields
3. "When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific."
-Lily Tomlin
4. "I'm not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb. And I also know that I'm not blonde."
-Dolly Parton
5. "I never feel more alone than when I'm trying to put sunscreen on my back."
-Jimmy Kimmel
6. "I'm at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out."
-Anonymous
7. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."
-George Carlin
8. "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
-Socrates
9. "I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."
-Rodney Dangerfield
10. "I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there."
-Stephen Wright
11. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe."
-Albert Einstein
12. "I drink to make other people more interesting."
-Ernest Hemingway
13. "Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford."
-Cindy Crawford
14. "A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain."
-Graham Norton
15. "As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
-Sir Norman Wisdom
16. "Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired."
-R. Geis
17. "I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it."
-Charles M. Schulz
18. "I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering."
-Steven Wright
19. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
-Elbert Hubbard
20. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it."
-Mindy Kaling
See more uplifting quotes- 55 Quotes About Happiness
21. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
-Jim Carrey
(That one's for my beautiful wife, Barb)
22. "Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance?"
-Phyllis Diller
23. "I walk around like everything's fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
-Anonymous
24. "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
-Noel Coward
25. "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
-Louis Hector Berlioz
26. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
-George Carlin
27. "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
-Charlotte Whitton
28. "When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'"
-Groucho Marx
29. "My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."
-Dave Barry
30. "I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."
-Bill Watterson
31. "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana."
-Betty White
32. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it."
-Shirley MacLaine
33. "You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."
-George Burns
34. "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Steve Martin
35. "I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror."
-Danny Zuker
36. "Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me."
-Charlie Brown
37. "I've got a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
-Zach Galifianakis
38. "I love mankind... it's people I can't stand."
-Charles M. Schulz
39. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's you."
-Rita Mae Brown
40. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?"
-Jean Illsley Clarke
41. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
-Jack Handey
42. "No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early."
-Groucho Marx
43. "Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer."
-Ellen DeGeneres
44. "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield
45. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police."
-Joan Rivers
46. "Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?"
-Jay Leno
47. "From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge."
-Jarod Kintz
48. "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-David Dinkins
49. "Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile."
-Billy Sunday
50. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."
-Will Ferrell
51. "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener."
-Pauline Thomason
52. "Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired."
-Sandra Bullock
53. "Don't be so humble -- you are not that great."
-Golda Meir
54. "Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."
-Paula Poundstone
55. "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."
-Isaac Asimov
56. "Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
-Oscar Wilde
57. "I'm sure wherever my Dad is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
-Jack Whitehall
58. "I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
59. "I'd like to live like a poor man -- only with lots of money."
-Pablo Picasso
60. "As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice. You can either be right, or you can be happy."
-Ralphie May
I hope you got a chuckle or two out of these quotes. My Dad passed away in 2021 but the times he made me laugh are as fresh in my mind as though they happened yesterday. Love and Laughter stay with us forever.
Share the joy of laughter. It really is the best medicine.
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
-Proverbs 17:22
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