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5 Things To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed
All at Once
The deadline is near at work and only halfway done with the project.
Need a last-minute gift for someone celebrating today.
Have a must-study for test first thing tomorrow.
Overnight company coming and a room needs to be readied.
The rent is due and still haven't figured out the last $100.
There's a bug going around work and might have a fever.
The car has a gremlin in it causing fits so needs to get to the shop.
Just had a fight with significant other and need to make it right.
It seems like there's always something that needs to be done. The list is never finished and continues to grow. Having one or two things due or overdue can be an awakening, even jump-starting some action on your part to get the ball rolling and finish. But when you have many items like the ones above, all needing attention, and all demanding urgency, happening all at once; you can find yourself...
OVERWHELMED
You are overwhelmed when the task or tasks at hand seem so overpowering in scope that the possibility of proper completion or just completion alone isn't evident.
You look at the pile of needs and you become buried under the sheer weight of it. You are flooded with thoughts and feelings, and you encounter sensations similar to drowning, unable to catch your breath or find a way to come up for air.
The good news is you are not alone. Everyone gets to that point and experiences that sense of hopelessness from time to time.
The bad news is that if it happens more frequently than not, or if you don't learn steps to take when you feel overwhelmed, it can lead to many unwanted things such as:
- Chronic stress and anxiety
- Sleeplessness
- Depression
- High blood pressure leading to heart disease or stroke
- Angry outbursts
- Reduced productivity
- Inferior results
- Suicidal thoughts
- Broken relationships
- Wide mood swings
- Withdrawal from co-workers or loved ones
- Other mental and physical health issues
I want you to know that it is okay not to be okay ALL THE TIME.
Throughout my career, I had the distinction of being considered the "organized one." I met the deadlines. I got the job done. Heck, I even reminded others to get the job done and what the deadlines were. I once had a vice president say, "You were the first to get that done, but then, you usually are."
Personal disclosure: I have been overwhelmed, and I am sure that sometime in the future I will be overwhelmed. It happens to all of us. In this "enlightened" information age there are so many areas in our lives waiting to engulf us and make our efforts seem puny and futile:
- Job duties
- Family responsibilities
- Academic pursuits
- Climate change
- Political issues and unrest
- Gun violence
- Personal health concerns
- Health concerns/care of loved ones
- Financial woes
- Toxic relationships
- Inflation
- Major life changes - loss of loved ones, divorce, etc.
I know you can add some personal items to that list. Life throws a lot our way and sometimes it can be brutal in the timing. It often seems like the moment you are sure that one more thing happening will be "the straw that broke the camel's back", then that one more thing shows up. The universe is against you. Resistance is futile. You might as well throw in the towel because there's no clear path to victory.
Don't. Keep that towel in the corner. The round's not over yet. The fight's not done, and neither are you. I want to share a process with you that can help you proceed forward the next time you feel under attack and overwhelmed.
5 Things To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed
1. Lean into it.
Accept the fact that you are feeling overwhelmed. It's okay, We've all been there. Acting like all is well when it's not, or ignoring the fact that the walls appear to be caving in doesn't make it go away.
The feeling of helplessness can intrude on anyone at any time so don't judge yourself too harshly. Sometimes there is a fear of failure. Sometimes it involves a fear of rejection. You are not immune to these feelings. Welcome to the human race.
2. Analyze it.
Purposely step back and reflect on what's making you feel overwhelmed. Finding out why is an important first step to overcoming that sense of being overpowered.
Ask real questions. Did you take on too much? Did you procrastinate on some projects until multiple deadlines converged? Do you not have the necessary tools or training to have confidence in your ability to proceed? Figuring out "why" can help you in this battle and allow you to avoid the same issues in the future.
3. Pause it.
When you have a billion things racing through your mind and a million more trying to join in, sometimes you just have to take a step back. My pause meant a walk. I would stop what I was doing, leave the building, take a short walk to gain perspective, and then come back and attack the list. That always gave me the chance to rest, reset, and resume.
Find what works for you. If my short walk doesn't help you can try other breaks in your routine:
- Listen to some uplifting music
- Cook a favorite meal
- Watch a sunrise or sunset
- Practice mindfulness
- Utilize some breathing techniques
- Enjoy some family time
- Get a massage
Learn some useful breathing exercises at healthline.com
You have responsibilities which means you can't just shut down. But you can push pause to help you gain some perspective which can make the mountain you face a little less formidable.
4. Dissect it
"How do you eat an elephant?"
"One bite at a time."
Back to my story of being the "organized one." When I would train others to gain a new position, promotion, or improve in their current roles, I would often be met with statements like, "You always get everything done, I'll never be able to do that", or "I could never be as organized as you" and I would let them in on a little secret.
I NEVER got EVERYTHING done. The perception and reputation were not reality. The lists would always have something added to them at about the same or greater rate that something was removed. I just had the ability to dissect the list and prioritize. For example. if my list had ten things on it and 4 of those were things my boss needed to have done, I would prioritize and complete those four things first, then move on to the rest. I might only get 3 other things completed (meaning just 7 out of 10), but the reputation became that I got everything done. I would then add those remaining undone tasks to tomorrow's list and the process then got repeated.
"You cannot do everything at once, but you can do something at once"
-Calvin Coolidge
*Dissect your list and evaluate the true risk. What will happen if it "ALL" doesn't get done? A true evaluation will usually surprise you. Once impending doom is off the table, you can concentrate on doing the important stuff.
*Apply the Pareto Principle. Often called the 80/20 rule. The Pareto principle states that for many outcomes, roughly 80% of consequences come from 20% of causes. Apply your efforts to the 20% of tasks that have the most impact.
*Do the NEXT RIGHT THING. Often the sense of being overwhelmed causes some temporary paralysis, stopping us from doing anything. The movement toward the next right thing will cure that.
*Control what you can control. We are often consumed by the very large picture framed before us. Some of that is out of our control at the moment because of skill, authority, or some other factor. Learn to let go of what's out of your control.
*Delegate. Eating that elephant "one bite at a time" might be the sound approach, but inviting others to the table will clean the platter faster. Share the duties. Ask for help. You may even produce growth and fulfillment in someone along the way.
5. Pray
My faith dictates that this be my first step when I feel overwhelmed. I put it at number five because the reality is many people resort to prayer when all other actions are exhausted. That works but personally, I have found that I may not need to rely on the other steps above if I start here.
This message was written on the blackboard of a movie I once watched where Dean Cain played a pastor. It was on the wall behind his desk. I'll get inspiration anywhere. I wrote this actual note down right away to remember. Now a typed 81/2 by 11 version hangs on the bookcase so I look at it every day from my office chair.
"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go."
-Abraham Lincoln
We were given a promise that we are never alone. It's easy to forget that when we are faced with what seems to be an unscalable mountain. Your problems may seem bigger than you, but they will never be bigger than Him.
"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."
-Matthew 19:26
You could Google for directions. Then Google for options. Then Google for an expert. Then Google for help to implement. Or you could search it all out in one prayer.
Final Thoughts on Regret
The things listed above are meant to help you overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed on those occasions when life throws everything at you all at once. I hope they help you escape those feelings of helplessness that overtake us all from time to time. With practice, you should feel overwhelmed less often while accomplishing your goals in a more organized fashion.
Do you feel overwhelmed often? Do you wake up most days feeling overpowered and helpless? Here are a few more things I would like you to consider:
*Practice Gratitude. Don't let the list of things that are burdening you make you forget all the good things in your life. See: 80 Things To Be Grateful For.
*Remember. Take a moment to recall other times when you felt powerless and overwhelmed. The fact that you are alive and reading this today attests to your ability to overcome.
"Some days you will feel like the ocean. Some days you will feel like you are drowning in it."
-Lora Mathis
*Talk to someone. If feelings of being overwhelmed and unable to cope persist don't go it alone. Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or member of the clergy, or seek professional help. None of those are out of bounds when it comes to your well-being.
Now go eat that elephant!
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
-2 Timothy 1:7
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