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4 Tips For Finding Your Purpose In Life
Purpose
Purpose can be defined as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. It means having something as one's focus, intention, or reason for being. At its core, purpose answers the "why" question for undertaking anything in your life.
Are you happy with your life? Do you enjoy your job? Can you see the direction you're heading, or do you feel more like each day involves trying to keep your head above water? When someone asks you, "What do you do?", does your reply come from a foundation of pride and self-assurance? Is your morning coming with energy or dread when thinking about the day ahead?
If your answers to any of the above inquiries fall short of contentment and positivity, you may not have found your true purpose.
There has never been anyone in the world exactly like you. There is no one alive now that has the exact same life experiences as you. There will never be anyone in the future exactly like you. Your uniqueness alone allows you to contribute something that nobody else can to the world.
"The two most important days in life are the day you were born and the day you find out why."
-Mark Twain
Most people live a life without purpose. They are unhappy in their relationships, jobs, and other aspects of their being. They hate the job they have, the way they feel, and the future that's coming. Many end their lives burdened by regrets and thoughts of "what might have been".
That is not living. That barely counts as existing. You deserve better. You can do better. A purpose-driven life is invigorating and leads to possibilities and rewards. In it, you'll find joy and fulfillment. You'll find the means to course correct when life takes a detour and challenges seem insurmountable.
Having a purpose in your life doesn't shield you from disappointments or failures. I've shared that I lost my dad and son in the same year. Barb, the love of my life, was hospitalized for nearly four months to end that year. I lost a job I thoroughly enjoyed working with people that I had a deep connection with. I suffered an injury last fall that's taking some time to recover from. And although I would be happier if those things didn't happen, my faith and purpose have allowed me to persevere.
I'm still standing. My faith and purpose not only sustained me, but both have become stronger. In fact, my purpose evolved and led me to start this blog. (More on that later).
Why is having purpose a good thing?
I touched on the joy and fulfillment a life of purpose can deliver but there are many other benefits including:
- Increased life expectancy. Having a reason to live has been proven to increase your years.
- Goal achievement. Knowing your purpose allows you to focus on what's important and stay the course when obstacles occur.
- Improved mental health. When you have your eyes on something bigger than yourself, you are less encumbered by negative feelings, loss, or abandonment.
- Joy and Gratitude. Knowing you're doing what you are meant to do simply makes you happy and thankful to serve.
- Better decision-making. Being able to start with why you are doing something provides both clarity and focus, allowing you to find answers true to your values.
- Strong relationships. People recognize others with a powerful sense of purpose, allowing them to trust, assist and forgive you while you fulfill that purpose.
Why then would you not live a life of purpose?
I believe that most people would want to have something to live for. Most would choose happiness over sorrow, accomplishment over failure, and fulfillment over emptiness. Why then, are people I coach many times living without a true purpose or unable to define their purpose when asked?
I have found three common obstacles keep most people from living a life of purpose:
1. The status quo. We all have a basic need for safety, comfort, and routine. Unfortunately, that sometimes keeps us in jobs we hate, relationships that don't work, and mundane lives.
We tell ourselves that the job we hate will improve, or that it's better than not having a job at all. We continue to stay in toxic relationships, family or otherwise because we've invested so much time in them already.
2. Self-esteem. When it comes to anything in life, we can be our own worst enemies. We don't think we deserve a better life. We tell ourselves that we don't have the skills or means to improve.
That lack of positive mental fortitude may lead us to fail to initiate change or introduce self-destructive and self-fulfilling behaviors once we do.
3. A place to start. You know that you want a better life, a life with meaning, but where do you begin? You can think of others that live their lives with purpose but how did they get there? And even if you wanted to begin, it's sure to take more time and energy than you can carve out of the busy life you already lead.
Just remember, you will spend the time and energy doing something regardless. If you keep on going in the direction that you are, you'll end up exactly where you are headed.
Then make the destination by choice. Let's examine some ways to turn from a life of happenstance toward a life of purpose and satisfaction.
4 Tips For Finding Your Purpose In Life
1. Self-examination.
It has been said that an unexamined life is not a life worth living. I reminded you that there never was nor will there ever be another beautiful human being, that is you.
Find a quiet place and get to know YOU.
Start with what makes you unique. Find that one thing you do that makes you greatly qualified to pass it on to other people. Some people are nurturers, some are organizers, some are teachers, some are problem solvers, and so on. What is your gift?
A good place to start is to review your life thus far. What have you done in the past that gave you a sense of joy and fulfillment? Have you done something that allowed you to connect with others and contribute to your community?
Listen to what other people appreciate about you. They may call out a gift that you don't recognize.
2. Alignment.
Move away from what troubles you, saddens you, or drains your energy. What would you do if money were not a factor?
*What do you love to do and look forward to doing?
*What seems to come naturally to you without provocation?
*What part of your uniqueness do you like expressing the most?
*What things can you do to help others that are true to your faith and core values?
Use that information to clarify your direction. Where would you like to be? How would you like to live your life? What would you be doing and enjoy the most if you were honest with yourself?
Figure out what you do that doesn't feel like work even if others might view it as such. Your true purpose will bring you joy.
3. Contribution
How can you share what you uniquely bring to the table to help others? A life of purpose is a life of service. It is NOT about status, power, money, or material things.
Focus on others. Contribute to causes, pursuits, and aid of others rather than yourself. Giving freely rarely results in a position of lack for the giver.
"Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."
-Galatians 6:7
Who are you living for?
Focus on who you can serve. Determine your purpose by outward facing versus inward facing. How can you contribute to the greater good by supplying people with what they want or need? How will they feel and how will their lives be improved when you provide those things?
4. Statement
Write down your purpose to bind you to it. Your life purpose should be a unifying theme that outlines your personal approach to life. It defines a way for you to make the best use of your unique and personal gifts, talents, life experiences, and interests while helping others.
Your purpose statement should reveal your way to contribute to something grander than yourself, but the statement itself shouldn't be grand. Keep it simple and easy to refer to for constant reminders of why you do what you do.
Here was my purpose statement when I worked for a company other than my own:
I work hard to provide resources and remove obstacles that help my teams improve and the company thrive.
How does that fit into the steps I just outlined? First, my self-examination allowed me to be confident in both my communication and organizational skills. Second, it aligned with my faith which says I'm to live a life of service. Third, it gave me a chance to teach others to be better than they thought they could be and offer them life skills that I would hope they could use long after our time together ended.
Here are some other generic examples to stimulate your process:
To help others make positive changes in their lives.
To make the best home environment for my family.
To find ways to help those that do not have the resources to help themselves.
To be the best teacher for my students and help them to learn to love learning.
To do my job to the very best of my ability to bring pride to my team and success to our company.
Some last thoughts and encouragement
Don't wait until you're late in life to live your best life. Start now. Make changes now so that as you move forward and look into the rearview mirror of your life you like what you see.
It was reported that David Cassidy's last words to his daughter before he died (way too young) were, "so many regrets". I would rather you say these words, "I lived that well". That is one of the main purposes I write this blog for you and hope you return often for hope and encouragement.
A few bonus strategies for your life's purpose:
- Listen to your heart. Sometimes we think our way out of what truly is important to us
- Be flexible. As your life changes so can your purpose statement. You read my personal statement that I followed when I worked for the corporate world. Here is what that looks like now:
To try to make everyone I come in contact with have a better day and help as many people as I can enjoy their best lives possible by sharing myself, my knowledge, my assets, and my faith.
That is why I write this blog. It increases the chance that I can help more people turn their lives around and live their very best lives.
- Take a test drive. After you've written your statement. Use it to make decisions and set goals, then review the results and change them if it doesn't align with your faith and values.
- Don't minimize your contribution. We are not all gifted at being doctors, scientists, singers, missionaries, etc. The world needs the best chefs, custodians, teachers, mothers, fathers, servers, carpenters, builders, etc. to truly improve all lives.
- You can have more than one statement. I have two. The one above and a more personal one that I'll share for the first time here:
To provide the best for my family by displaying hard work, love, faith, and acceptance so that they never doubt their place in my heart or their worth to the world they live in.
- Put purpose before goals. Your purpose will help define your goals and give you the energy to achieve them.
- Lean into your purpose. Time continues to march on. Learn a little each day about how to better align your actions with your purpose.
Make the effort now. You will find it worth it. Once you've ironed out your life's purpose you will be on the path to creating a world we all want to live in. Live a life on purpose and your way to a better, happier life will become clear.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."
I will look at understanding God's plan for your life in a future blog.
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