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7 Tips For Tackling Tragedy
What is Tragedy?
Tragedy can be defined as "an event causing great suffering, loss, pain, distress, and destruction such as crime, natural disasters, accidents, or mass shootings."
I will address the tragedy in personal terms that myself and those I've been close to having endured. Personal tragedy can be felt in many ways:
The loss involving:
- A loved one
- A job
- A pet
- A miscarriage
- Your health
- A friendship
- A marriage
- Anything that affects you deeply
Tragedy Is Not Punishment
Tragedy occurs to people from all walks of life, professions, and circles of faith. In fact, its sheer randomness is one of the things that makes it so hard to deal with. It shows up without regard to the person, community, or country. Its devastation can make us question our very purpose in life and create doubt in our ability to cope and move forward.
Tragedy will happen. For some of us, time and time again. Since that is a given, it is paramount that what defines us as a person is not the tragedy, but how we react to it and overcome it. I sincerely hope the tips outlined below help and guide you when you battle tragedy in your own life.
These are in no particular order. I have used these to work through my own personal tragedies. Use any or all that help you.
7 Tips For Tackling Tragedy
1. Allow Yourself To Feel
Although not inclusive, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in the late 1960s gave us what has become known as the "five stages of grief" - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
It is okay to feel all of those and more. There may be strong feelings of disbelief, sadness, guilt, and fear. You do not need to mask your emotions and keep them hidden. It is also important to not let those feelings overwhelm you and take over your day-to-day activities.
Identify the source of any emotional triggers so you can face them head-on.
2. Live your life
Don't quit. Tragedy does its very best to derail you. It's painful. It's life-changing... but the world continues and so must you.
Keeping to your usual routine can actually create a calming effect and allow you to better work through the process of moving on.
Getting involved in helping others is a great way to both aid in their recovery and yours.
Participate in activities that bring you joy and make you happy. Do not punish yourself for the tragedy that took place.
"Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been."
-Joan Rivers
3. Be patient
Be on your time. Every journey is different. Don't let anyone tell you how long the path should be.
Slow down and take breaks as needed. It is easy to get overwhelmed and feel out of control. Don't let the pace swallow you up. Sometimes you need to just step back and BREATHE.
You will encounter a roller coaster of feelings and emotions, highs and lows. Hang in there. The long road back to a new normal will end. It always does.
4. Get Help
Don't be afraid to seek professional help if YOU believe it is needed. The right help will allow you to unbox some tools you didn't know were available to build a durable foundation for lasting recovery.
Confide in a close circle of trusted friends that will allow you to access a sounding board free of judgment or ridicule.
Read information on overcoming tragedy. Or listen to an audio book or podcast.
If the darkness becomes overpowering and feel you can't go on,
dial 988 for the suicide/crisis lifeline.
- Be sure to maintain your needs physically, mentally, and spiritually.
- Eat right and get the rest that you need
- Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself
- Feed your spirit with Bible verses and positive quotations
- Create a journal to channel your grief and track your progress
- Avoid overstuffing your mind with the news. Viewing more sadness doesn't help
6. Accept The Loss
This does not mean you are to be happy with the loss. It means that you choose to "let go" of the things that you have no control over
Realize that there is no genuine answer to the question "Why?".
Fight to maintain optimism. Concentrate on gratitude for what you had and have, and not what you lost
Choose to move forward and find new meaning for the journey ahead.
7. Lean Into Your Faith
The Bible is full of stories where all seemed insurmountable and yet the people of God prevailed. The Book of Job is a perfect example.
The Bible teaches us that God is fully aware of our suffering and cares about us. It also tells us suffering will come to an end. Consider some of these words of comfort from His Word.
God is aware of your struggle.
"I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities;" -Psalm 31:7 KJV
You are not alone.
"Even when I walk through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way.:" -Psalm 23:4 TLB
You can rely on His strength.
" I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." -Philippians 4:13
It will get better.
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 KJV
Whatever your Faith and core beliefs are tethered to, move toward and not away from them. I list the Bible because that's where I get my Faith encouraged.
A Few Last Words On Tragedy
Tragedy CHANGES us. We are not the same upon exit as we were upon entering.
It changes-
- Our Beliefs
- Our Perspective
- Our relationships
The change is inevitable. How we are changed is not. It is up to each of us to choose our own outcomes. We can be beaten down bit by bit by each event or gain strength to battle the next calamity that most assuredly will test our resolve.
Life has no remote...
Get up and change it yourself.
-unknown
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