Marriage That Lasts

 

A Marriage Story

Marriage is a story and like most stories, there is a beginning, a middle, and an ending.

Some stories are shorter than hoped for due to many reasons: infidelity, growing apart, death, etc. 

My love story has been four decades long, and I still see the best ahead in lines not yet written and not in the pages behind. I am fortunate to have a wife I simply adore and two children that I am enormously proud to call mine. I have been around long enough to see other stories that inspired me and some that saddened me because the ending was not the one hoped for. 

There are some things that most good marriages and/or relationships have in common that keep the story alive and propel the storyline toward happier endings. I still feel lucky to be with a partner that has allowed me to stumble through the first chapters and continue to work on ways to love her better in the unwritten mysteries to come.

6 Steps For A Stronger Marriage

1. Be Faithful

Trust is hard to earn and nearly impossible to get back once it is lost. It is hard enough to navigate life's difficulties without being fully committed to each other. When challenges arise, your partner needs to KNOW that you are in it for the long haul.

2. Spend Time With Each Other

24 hours in a day. Sometimes that doesn't ever seem to be enough. There never seems to be an end to the things that want to steal your minutes away. Make a stand for what's important. It is hard to stay connected if you don't share time together.

3. Communicate With Each Other

• Be a good listener
• Don't assume you know what your partner is thinking. Ask them.
• Be sure to let your partner know what you are feeling. Positive without judgment.
• Say "I Love You". Why assume they know. Remove all doubt

4.    Prioritize Your Relationship

• Enjoy doing things together whenever possible
• Talk about your spouse with others the way you would want them to talk about you
• Pay attention to the little things. A life of loving moments beats the occasional grand gesture
• Continue to court your partner. The dates don't have to end when the marriage begins.
• When you say "I Love You" do your actions align with the words?

5. Be Independent

It is difficult to contribute your best self to the marriage if your identity gets lost in the union. As important as it is to spend quality time together and stay connected it is just as important that you each pursue individual growth so that you continue to bring fresh contributions to the relationship. 

6. Learn To Negotiate Conflict

• Always show respect for each other.
• Being the loudest person in the room doesn't make you right
• Appreciate the other point of view. If the two of you ALWAYS agree, then one of you isn't necessary.
• Think before speaking. Don't say what you can't take back. Words can build or destroy. Always seek to build your relationship.
• Agree to disagree sometimes

In the end, ask yourself this question. 

What would you do to get your partner back if you lost them?

DO THAT NOW!